Nashville Blog #1 - In Limbo

“So when are you moving?”

Almost every conversation I’ve had for a while now has included some variation of that question, so it fills me with so much joy to say that FINALLY I have a definitive answer! I am posting this first blog because TODAY, April 13th, 2026, is the day that we are officially leaving for Tennessee. Our life is packed in a rental truck, with our cars carrying the leftovers, and our new chapter begins NOW!

To understand how we got here, there’s some context to explain.

Upon graduating from college on May 18, 2025, I gave myself a deadline of one year. My objective: move to Nashville to pursue my career in music! In the meantime, I would stay home to save up money. Ideally, I thought, I would leave far before then, but any longer than a year however, seemed like I would get too comfy here in Illinois and never take the leap!

This kicked off what has honestly been one of the strangest periods of my life. I was back in my childhood home, and for the first time since I was a toddler, there would be no school to return to in August. For the first time, the structure of my life would be completely determined by ME! Not only was this a big adjustment from the scheduled structure of academic life; with not knowing how long I’d be here, my life felt constantly in limbo. Everything I was doing here was simply in pursuit of my next chapter in Tennessee. This left me stuck in this awkward transitional stage between my education and my career! I had no clue when that transition would finish, and it often seemed like it never would!

So what did I do with my newfound free time? I tried to save up money through making music as much as I could. It didn’t make sense to me to commit long term to any band or group because I wasn’t planning to stick around here long. What I WAS able to do is play weekend services at church, and I played duo gigs here and there with “Nolan & Audrey.” I found other odd gigs along the way, and steadily I was still able to save up! I also started doing solo shows for the first time and grew to really enjoy it!

Even with the opportunities I had, I still found myself with a lot of free time. This time was often filled in…bizarre ways. Very soon after I returned home, my family began making a concentrated effort to sell my deceased grandparents’ house. By request of the realtor, we had to get EVERYTHING out of there and clean it top to bottom. It was an old house that needed a lot of attention, and they had a LOT of stuff in there. Nearly every day we were all over there working. The whole process took nearly a month.

I found myself on road trips a lot that summer too, whether it be for vacation, weddings, or the occasional gig coming my way from out of state! Then before I knew it, it was October. Fall had come, and it felt a lot… lonelier. School had started up, and it strangely just kept on going without me, which felt like the final nail in the coffin that I was done. I had a couple bad gig experiences, from my guitar badly malfunctioning to “accepting” a gig that wasn’t actually mine to begin with (I sent them a poster and everything!). That was the final straw. I’d had ENOUGH of living in limbo! So, I resolved that I would move after New Years. New Year, new city!

That… didn’t happen. My family and I planned to move together, giving me a sense of security in this new place. We planned to go in January like I said and find a place to rent for a year. My dad would need time to find a different job, so he would have to stay here until then. To focus on the move, I would not accept any gigs after the New Year. But after the rest of 2025 came and went, believe me when I say that seemingly as soon as 2026 began, every little thing seemed to come out of the woodwork to foil my plan! I started the year under the weather for one, but then…? Broken shower! Mold! Car trouble! Everything seemingly one after another! For a solid month, we showered at the gym! Then, as we were planning a househunting trip to Nashville, a massive ice storm hit in January and basically shut down the city for two weeks! We had planned a going away party for me on January 18th. By then, however, it was clear that moving in January was a big no go, so it felt awkward celebrating my departure with no sign of it in sight!

This really took a toll on all of us. The questions from everybody of “So when are you moving?” really kicked into overdrive at this point. Weeks became months. Still, here I was, puzzling everyone with my continued presence. I’m incredibly thankful for the outpouring of support I’ve been given on this endeavor, but I began to dread seeing anyone because I knew that I was going to have to explain yet again how bad weather and home issues had kept us OUT of Nashville indefinitely. It was a constant reminder of our situation. We did finally make the trip in February, and when all hope seemed lost, we found a house that checked all our boxes! Days later we officially signed the lease. The lease would begin April 1st.

Hold up, APRIL?

Yes, April.

My grandparents' house had sold, and the next step was having an estate sale of all their stuff! When the new year came, the bulk of my free time became dedicated to getting the sale ready. And unpacking their stuff from our boxes and organizing it took JUST as long as getting it packed originally, if not longer! It took until March to get the estate sale set up and scheduled, and we would have to wait until the first of the next month to start our lease. 

So, April 1st then, right? …RIGHT? 

APRIL FOOLS! 

Well, sort of. We decided to stay through Easter since it was so close and I was playing for church one last time. Then when that seemed sure, a funeral unfortunately came up.

Though there were multiple last minute changes, once the lease had been finalized, we started packing up everything in our house to go. It’s tough to pack everything and see empty rooms where I spent my childhood, but there’s actually something refreshing in seeing it go. FINALLY I get to see this convoluted plan come to fruition! It seems like my whole life has been packing boxes, MOVING boxes, UNPACKING boxes, ORGANIZING the stuff IN the boxes. Everywhere feels packed with clutter. It feels oddly symbolic given our endless state of confusion centering around this move. Basically, it’s like my life has been a big warehouse, both literally and figuratively.

So, here we are, finally at the beginning of this chapter that I have so eagerly been anticipating. After feeling out of reach for so long, it feels surreal! I’m a big believer in the struggles we experience often serving a larger purpose. More than anything, this long period of waiting was an exercise in patience and resilience. I was forced to adapt musically and ended up becoming a solo performer, which developed me a lot as both a singer and guitarist. It also forced me to bear new responsibilities like booking and advertising my own gigs, as well as making posters and visuals for them. I believe the skills and insight I gained during this time is part of what will make me successful in my career! And, for what it’s worth, I still stuck to my one year deadline!

I think this also made saying goodbye easier. So many times I would think that I’m visiting somewhere or doing something or seeing somebody for the last time before I move, only to be kept here long enough to relive the experience! At a certain point, my sentimental energy ran dry, and I largely made my peace with my departure. This last round of goodbyes still hurt, now knowing for sure that this is happening, but it doesn’t feel as dramatic anymore. Illinois will always be where I come from, and those I love will still be there from afar supporting me along the way.

I’m thrilled to finally be here at this new beginning. Everything feels like it has been secretly preparing me all this time, and I feel ready. I don’t know what this is all going to look like or how my career is going to shape up, but I can promise that it will be interesting! For this reason, I’m starting this blog to document my journey as well as share it with everyone who has been so supportive of me, so stay tuned! 

No matter what happens with this, I know I can say that I took the leap. All too often, it is the things we don’t do that we regret the most. I am reminded of the closing lyrics in my own song “The Road Home:”

“Every moment that passes by, we take a step toward the end of the line. When I reach the end, I won’t face the regret of wasted years spent.”